Mixed reactions trail men marrying older women

NAN

Some Nigerians have expressed mixed reactions to the idea of men marrying women that were older than them.

Over the years in Africa, women were usually advised to marry men who were older, more educated, had better jobs and would have made enough money to cater for them.

Some respondents obliged to the norm and told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Lagos on Monday that
modernity and other factors had redefined their choices of suitable mates.

They also said that emotional maturity was a core virtue needed to sustain a relationship and older women possessed it.

A lawyer, Godfrey Chukukere, told NAN that men sustaining relationships with women younger than them tend to be more difficult since such women were fond of laying emphases on trivial issues.

He said that a man marrying an older woman, on the average, meant marrying an older and mature person.

“Having a relationship with an older woman is simply the best thing that a younger, vibrant and ambitious man should consider.

“An older women will give every support a young man needs in every regard, especially, emotional stability,” he said.

Also, Opeoluwa Shodupe, a guidance and counselling officer, said that sexual desires and compatibility were driving forces that would lure older women to younger men.

She said that women with strong sexual appetites preferred younger men because they had the stamina to satisfy their sexual desires.

“Every woman wants a man that is good in bed and they will do everything to have and keep such men.

“Why will a woman marry a man who is older and weak to satisfy her sexually, when a woman can go for a younger man whom she can pamper and he, in return, will meet her desires?’’

She added that younger men preferred to stick to older women who had enough resources to splash on them.

“In Nigerian parlance, cash-loaded women who are ready to spend their monies on young men are called `Sugar Mummies’.

“Such relationships are a give-and take-relationship with the women ready to spend lavishly on the men.

“The men while reciprocating will use their energies to satisfy such women sexually,” she said.

A banker, Onome Agbawe, said that with the life expectancy of women higher than those of men by some years, it was important for women to marry younger men that would possibly outlive them.

“Most women live way longer than their husbands and for me I will not want to live too long after my man is dead.

“So, it is ideal to marry someone you are older than by some years so that, all things being equal, and at old age, you will died between very short period after each other, if possible together, ” she said.

Other respondents told NAN that a woman marrying a man younger than her was an idea driven my modernity and not accepted to the African tradition.

Ibe Chukwudi said that a man marrying an older woman was a taboo since it was assumed that older women would use younger men for rejuvenation.

He said that women aged faster than men and would not mind marrying a younger man just for the benefit of sustaining their lives.

“There is no benefit that a younger man derives from marrying an older woman but the reverse is the case and this is a ritual and an abominable act.

“In perception, there is no difference between `blood money’ and the marriage of an older woman to a younger man,” he said.

Bunmi Adetoro, a model, said that it was disrespectful for a woman to marry somebody younger than her.

She said that dating a younger man would only last for a while since the man would be expecting too much respect from the woman.

“Can you imagine me getting married to someone I am older than by between two years and three years?

“In my candid opinion, the marriage between a younger man and an older woman can only be likened to that of lust and not one based on genuine love, “she said.

NAN reports that relationships where women are older than their male partners have always generated controversies.

A recent case of a younger man getting married to an older woman was that between Prince Harry,33, and former Meghan Markle ,36,on May 19.

Also, President Emmanuel Macron of France is 24 years younger than his wife, Brigitte Macron.

Macron was quoted as saying that those who kept wondering at the age differences between him and his 64-year-old wife were misogynists and homophobes.

He noted that if his wife were younger than him, nobody would have questioned the validity of their relationship.